This Year My Resolution Is…

January 8, 2018

On a recent search regarding New Years resolutions, I found multiple suggestions for starting the year off right. These included:

The Ultimate List of New Years Resolutions
25 Goals for 2018
42 Tips to Get Skinny, and many more.

In fact, my search revealed 24 million sites. No doubt, people are optimistic and resolved to make changes in their lives during the coming year.

Making Resolutions vs. Keeping Them

Yet, the problem isn’t with making resolutions; it’s with keeping them. According to Nielson analytics, in 2015 losing weight was tops among resolutions. Yet, only 64% continued to pursue that goal a month later and 46% after 6 months. Ultimately, only 14% of adults actually achieved their resolutions.

Unfortunately, the same is true with most resolutions. Simply stated, achieving them often involves delayed gratification and we don’t want to deprive ourselves of anything.

According to Psychology Today there are also other reasons. For example, psychologist Tom Pychyl argues that resolutions are cultural procrastinations. People want to reinvent themselves, but they’re slow to change bad habits that cause failure.

Peter Herman also notes that people set unrealistic goals inconsistent with their internal view of themselves. When that happens not only do they fail, but also the failure damages their self-concept.

Finally, through MRIs, neuro-scientists discovered that habits come from thinking patterns that create neural pathways. Those pathways become defaults for behavioral decisions. Changing behavior requires creating new pathways that come from new thinking.

Accordingly, in 2018, I propose that we consider changing bad habits, setting achievable goals and creating new pathways, by embracing some new thinking:

Listening to One Another

A recent poll revealed, 70% of Americans think political incivility has reached “crisis” levels. The pollsters noted that many Americans avoid controversies, fearing they’ll be perceived as uncivil. Most (86%) have been victims of incivility, and 74% believe manners and behavior have declined.

The late Chuck Colson said that people who can’t restrain their baser instincts and operate with civility, aren’t capable of self-government. “Without virtue, a society can be ruled only by fear, a truth that tyrants understand all too well.”

Accordingly, civil self-government means that we must be willing to listen to voices that may not agree with ours. That really is the essence of civil discourse (something that seems to be lacking lately).

Respecting One Another

What happened at Berkley and Charlottesville was not civil discourse. In our democracy being “on the winning side” is important, but equally important is how we treat one another in the process, regardless of our views.

It’s much easier to outshout or outmuscle the opposition, but where does that lead us, to tyranny? Chaos from conflict exists in any relationship including those in organizations. Yet, the secret to prosperity and health is not avoiding chaos, but working through it in thoughtful and civil ways. However, that requires showing respect for both people and disparate views.

Loving One Another

Well, why love someone who embraces an opposing position? That’s really the point. Listening and respecting one another sometimes leads to better decisions because we better understand the other person. When we work through the chaos together, we may even find friends on the other side.

The Apostle Paul said it well in 1 Corinthians 13, “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I give away everything and give up my body that I may be burned but do not have love, I gain nothing.”

Have a Happy New Year and please try to listen, respect and love one another more! You may be surprised at what you’ll find!

“I really support The Covenant Group’s strategic planning process because their approach encourages staff-based support with board buy-in, and I felt that was important given what we were trying to achieve. The outcome is an effective plan that builds consensus and provides a clear sense of direction.”
- Jennifer Scott, Director of Development - The Cabbage Patch Settlement House

“The Covenant Group is highly competent, very experienced and knowledgeable. They provided a broad perspective by equipping us with useful data…and best practices in the field. All in all, they are excellent.”
- Dan Jones, CEO - 21st Century Parks

“The campaign has truly been a miracle. People were committed from the beginning, but…even raising $650,000 seemed like a stretch. To nearly double that amount is incredible! When the plan they developed allows you to hit a goal like that, it builds such a sense of community. The momentum built by the campaign is spilling outside the walls of our church and benefiting others in the process.”
-Father John Hollowell - Annunciation of the Blessed Virgin Mary Catholic Church

“For those of us who don’t do this everyday, The Covenant Group instilled confidence in us. They helped us get through the fear and apprehension by providing us with a process, training and motivation. They taught us and helped us plan in a way that was for the better. We have built lasting relationships with donors and we will continue to steward these relationships long into the future.”
- Sue Finke, Director of Institutional Advancement - Covington Catholic High School

“No one anticipated we could raise this amount. Even the Archdiocese is surprised. The funds raised represent about 15 times our annual giving. But it’s not just the financial results. People stand around talking more than they did before the campaign. There is also a renewed and energized spirit among the parishioners. It’s the most exciting thing to happen in our parish in the last 100 years.”
- Gary Libs, Campaign Co-Chair - St. Mary of the Knobs Catholic Church

“The Covenant Group’s process involved a lot of people in our congregation doing small tasks … that built ownership. They took our vision and put it into a concrete plan. They helped us understand the importance of making our vision clear and laid out the steps to make the vision a reality. Their process built consensus and showed people how they could help. Their methods are based on a solid theological foundation that includes key documents, prayer support, and requisite training … all of which were invaluable.”
- Daniel Montgomery, Pastor - Sojourn Community Church

“Everything The Covenant Group did to help us…in the initial stages was helpful…the development of the case statement; our materials; the training of our Board members; strategies; all these steps laid the foundation for eventual success. They brought such a high level of professionalism, a wealth of experience and a strong track record of integrity and success… just being associated with The Covenant Group helped us.”
- Nancy Doctor, Development Director - Wellspring

“The structure The Covenant Group provided was excellent. It allowed our members to use their God-given talents to benefit the church community They helped us develop a plan and identify key leadership candidates to chair the effort, as well as engaging between 80 to 100 people to carry out the work of the campaign. It was truly a whole congregation effort and The Covenant Group helped facilitate that. They helped us reach our full potential as a congregation.”
- Ron Poisel, Pastor - Christ Lutheran Church

This Year My Resolution Is…

Add comment Cancel reply