What Can We Learn About Leadership From Marriage?

The Case for Marriage

Syndicated columnist, Maggie Gallagher, and University of Chicago sociologist, Linda Waite, wrote The Case for Marriage. We’ve all heard that 50% of marriages end in divorce, but according to a New York Times report those numbers are “fake news.” They put the number closer to 30%, and for all Christians it’s about 15%.

The results of The Case for Marriage are based on Dr. Waite’s original research and her synthesis of hundreds of studies. Their book also includes excerpts from interviews. So what is it that we can learn?

The authors note that empirical and anecdotal evidence is quite contrary to popular negative myths about marriage. They demonstrate overwhelmingly that the marriage covenant is better physically, materially and spiritually than being single or divorced.

Better Payoffs for Partners

The findings demonstrate that married people live longer, enjoy better health, earn more money, accumulate more wealth, are more fulfilled, have more satisfying sex lives, are at less risk of being victims of violence and raise happier, more successful children than people who are single, divorced or cohabiting.

According to Waite and Gallagher, marriage benefits partners in much the same way business partnerships do. Specifically, mechanisms working in business (and also in nonprofit organizations) to provide payoffs for partners “are some of the same mechanisms we believe underlie the advantages (and benefits) married people demonstrate in just about every realm of life.”

Engaging People by Attending to Their Needs

Of course, in business and nonprofits many more people are involved, but the principles are the same. When the benefits are there, employees (and donors) become more engaged and more vested in the success of the organization. The authors note that the trust and promise of permanence implied in the partnership encourages partners, “to make decisions jointly and function as part of a team. Partners also expect to be able to count on others to be there and to fulfill their responsibilities.”

While this is true, it appears that businesses and organizations of all kinds are lacking in engagement. According to a recent Aon-Hewitt study, 61% of worldwide workers said they don’t feel engaged in their jobs. Gallup found that 70% of all US workers indicate they are not working to their full potential. Estimates indicate that this costs between $450 and $550 billion each year in lost productivity.

Caring for the Real Competitive Advantage

Accordingly, if employees represent the real competitive advantage, then it certainly make sense to try and meet their needs. This certainly represents a good start in enhancing engagement. However, other methods cited by the Gallup study include measuring engagement, hiring the right managers, coaching those managers, setting engagement goals and finding ways to connect with employees.

Connecting With People Through Covenant Partnerships

Finding ways to connect, means creating partnerships or covenants with employees and in fundraising, with donors. Gallagher and Waite observe that partners in marriage bring value and receive value. As a result of the covenant they share, the partners achieve more and create more value than they ever could on their own. Empirical data supports that this same concept, applied in business or any other kind of organization, works the same way.

Growing Through Retention and Loyalty

Of course, retention is directly related to engagement and profitability. Business guru Frederick Reichheld found that companies with the highest customer and employee retention were also the most profitable. He explains that building strong relationships with both groups by serving their interests is crucial to retention. When employees are treated like, “partners” they work to create value. That value adds directly to customers and thereby enhances retention. It also, “increases employees’ loyalty by giving them pride and satisfaction in their work.” As capital campaign consultants, we counsel our clients that donor retention works in much the same way. In nonprofit fundraising it is important to create a meaningful experience for the donor that conveys appreciation and builds engagement.

Reichheld notes that, “loyalty leaders” treat employees like partners. “Whether they use independent employee teams or vendor partnerships, the same principles of partnership apply. The key is to compensate partners by sharing the value they help to create for customers.”

These kind of relationships can exist in marriage, business, nonprofits or any other kind of organization, but wherever they occur covenant partnerships create value that can be measured in real, life-enriching, bottom-line results.